I Found Myself In Gotham
by Luvisia
Summary: **Currently in the rewriting process!** A girl gets sucked into her favorite universe. Typical dimension-hopping fic. R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Batman: The Animated Series or any of its canon characters, I do, however, own myself (Brandy) and Jinina the 3rd (or what I nickname lovingly Furby)

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**Title: **I Found Myself In Gotham

**Summary: "**I _had_ to buy the dang remote and _had_ to babysit the dang dog on the day the T.V. _had_ to pull me into Batman: The Animated Series. What did I do wrong Lord? You could have at least let me visit my favorite cartoon without the freakin' furball!" I give a new meaning to reality check.

**Author's Note: **I'm going to see just how long I last in Gotham (laughs evilly)

**Chapter 1: **Babysitting Jinina the 3rd Furbyest / The Time-Warp Trio is living in my remote

Hi. My name is Brandy. I hail from the planet Earth, United States of America, South Carolina. Unfortunately. I have auburn hair, brown eyes, and my skin is slightly pale. Believe me, I'm no magical vampire. I have freckles and acne. I'm kinda fat. I am a normal teenager. I am the odd kid who hangs with all of the crowds at my school, and the girl who doesn't go outside (the chick with the dog who took a crap in my yard) in my neighborhood, and the kid who hates me at home. But you can call me Brandy.

So how, do you ask, does a self-respecting kid with no talent manage to get hold of a time-traveling, reality switching remote? I still don't know. My T.V. remote was acting suckish and it was high-time for a replacement anyway, so I went to the mall and got one from the cliché creepy store that all of the emo kids hang out at. Not suspicious at all. Okay, I liked the store too. So I get this universal remote and set it up to configure with my T.V.

One day, I was sleeping late on Saturday, in the living room. My dad had left to run errands, and I was babysitting the neighbor's dog, Jinina the 3rd Furbyest (I call her Furby because she's a Pomeranian) and watching my favorite Saturday morning cartoons, including Batman: The Animated Series. Yes, I am a slight tomboy and not afraid to show it. I had given Furby her special treats that were from a dietician and groomed her, PLUS struggled to stretch a pink cardigan over her fur in the already ninety degree weather, but her 'mommy' insisted. After this, I shoved the dog out of my recliner and grabbed the remote, turning up the volume to max. I mean, who's gonna stop me? Then I made sure that my I-Pod touch was turned onto alarm in case I fell asleep. Sitting back with a Kit-Kat, I began to watch the newest episode (which included my favorite villan, Scarecrow).

While I was watching the episode, I thought I'd fallen asleep. I was in Gotham. Only one problem: Furby was barking at me. And then I knew, this wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.

**Reviews are gladly accepted, and I hope that this is an interesting beginning to my adventures in Gotham! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Please don't sue. I could barely afford the remote. And by dad would be pissed. O_O

**A/N: **Thank you to Rawhide (reviewing, Favorite Story, Story alert, Favorite Author, Author Alert) and Mad As A Scarecrow (Favorite Story, Story Alert)

**Chapter 2: **And I found myself in Gotham / Meeting Joker

I spun around, yelping at the little toe-licking ankle-biting Furby.

"Stop! Go away! We are OVER!"

The few wanderers gave me second glances as they passed me on the sidewalk, I looked odd talking to an animal in the middle of the street.

Looking around me, I took in Gotham. Everything was cartoon though... wait...

"AHHHH! I'm a freakin' cartoon! WTF?!"

My black jeans were indeed cartooned, my four-leaf clover sandals outlined, and my AC/DC shirt was vivid.

"Well this is different... it's not that bad... yea, I'm screwed."

I gazed at all of the things around me. Right now I was at the edge of The Narrows, and Arkham Asylum wasn't far off. I noted its beautiful Gothic architecture and smiled. "Well isn't this joyful. A deserted part of town and a creepy building. Just joyful."

I turned around, beginning to walk into The Narrows. "Well I don't fall for that stuff, seen too many horror movies. No way in H-E double-hockeystick am I going near that place." Only then did I realize the fatality of my words, for Furby was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh Fur-by, come here, your mommy will be mad at me..." I called, gritting my teeth. I couldn't lose the dang dog, much as I'd like to, or I'd have to put up with a weeping Ms. Tinker.

I turned back in the direction of the Asylum, exhaling as I watched a cream-colored ball of fur scamper down the road. "You little..." I stomped on the ground. "Why do_ I _have all the bad juju?" Taking a deep breath, I stomped down the road towards Arkham Asylum.

* * *

Furby ran right past the gate, unnoticed by security. I followed the elusive pom-pom and ran right through the wrought-iron gates, up the hill, and right to the front doors. I only stopped there, because someone had just walked out.

"Hi there!" a pretty blonde girl with blue eyes giggled. I took this to be Harleen Quinzel, a doctor at Arkham who was in love with the Joker. "What's a kid like you doing here at Arkham?" she asked, more serious.

"Uhmmmmmmm..." I watched Furby disappear through the doors. "I'm chasing a Furby... I mean a dog... can you let me through?"

She followed my outstretched finger to the doors, which a creamy tail had just vanished.

"I suppose so," she smiled. "Come on, stick with me though, you don't want to get caught up in the incoming."

I nodded and walked straight ahead, and asked, "Incoming? Incoming wha-"

Just then, I got trampled by the 100 or so inmates that were rushing to breakfast.

"What." I finished. "Ow. Ow. My back is going to murder me and let everyone see. Then it's going to show off my diary. Ow."

"AheAHahHAhAHha!"

I looked around from my belly-up position to see a pair of black shoes in front of my eyes.

"Wow kiddo, next time listen to Harley!" A nasal voice said. I looked up towards the ceiling to find none other than the face of the Joker blocking my view.

"I'm okay," I said, "I don't see the light... yet... and hey that wasn't my fault!"

"It most definitely was," he giggled, rolling his eyes as if it were obvious. The famous Cheshire grin was starting to creep me out. Okay, it already creeped me out.

I gulped and asked, "Um, have you happened to see a cream-colored Furby -I mean dog- running around?"

He watched me as Harley helped me up and brushed me off. "And why would I tell you if I knew?"

"Um, because it belongs to my neighbor, and she loves the thing like her own kid, and my parents will so totally kill me if I don't have it with me when I get back home... why would you even care anyway?" I finished, exasperated.

He laughed. "Good point. But I like you. You're funny." He thought for a moment while I looked in hope. "Down the hall, towards the solitary rooms. I think I seen something down there."

I grinned. "Thank you sooo much. If I didn't have to worry about bodily injury, I could kiss you right now. Thank you!"

"Anytime, Smiley!"

I waved goodbye as a straightjacket-clad Joker was led away by a tough-looking guard.

"He's cute," Harley whispered.

**I have now met the Joker! Will I find Furby? Once again, reviews are gladly accepted and worshiped like cats in Egypt. Thank-you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Don't sue me. Cause I won't sue you. I'll sick Furby on you instead! Wait... Furby?! Where are you?

**A/N: **Thankies to Moonjava, Rawhide, and Luna of the Night Eclipse for reviewing, and ehs06702 (Favorite Author, Story Alert)! :) Many sloppy Furby kisses to you all!

**Chapter 3: ** Busting Out Of Arkham / I Am Not A Kid

"Uh-huh," I agreed with Harley, scouring the halls for a trace of the stupid piece of lint. A very expensive piece of lint, might I add.

"He's the most misunderstood patient I've ever had, I mean, he has a very tragic life story."

"Yeah," I mumbled, not really listening to the fanatic psychologist. Right now I had more pressing issues to worry about, like the Furby.

I rounded the corner, to hear the maniacal screams and laughter coming at me from all sides. I heard "Hey, pretty girlie," and "You're a cutie," among other things that I probably wouldn't repeat to my mother. _Wow,_ I thought, _these guys must be really desperate to call _**_me _**_cute._

I went down the white halls, finally coming to a hallway that was marked **Solitary.**

"Good grief, I hope that this will be painless," I told Harley, and we both tip-toed down the hall.

"AHA!" I yelled, spotting a cream puff disappear behind a door. Unfortunately, the Furby disappeared when the door shut. A guard was relocking the door when I sprung on him. Poor guy.

"!" I screamed with a warrior cry, jumping on his back and snatching away the keys. "Nyah!" I said, sticking my tounge out and trying to open the door, the guard trying to wrestle the keys away from me.

He almost got them when I gnashed my teeth and gave him the death glare. "Don't even think about it," I snarled in a way that would probably make Scarecrow scream. I didn't even know how close my statement was to reality.

I unlocked the door, calling softly. "Furby? Furby... you had better come ouuuut..."

"You might not want to-"

But the guard's warning came too late. I was knocked off of my feet and staring up at the masked face of Jonathan Crane. For those of you who don't know him, your worst nightmare. Literally.

"They let you keep that crap in here? Wow, these doctors are more screwed up than I thought," I said, gesturing to the mask.

"Please be quiet," he said, "wonderful blessing though you are, at the moment, I don't need to hear your mouth."

'Whaddya mean-" he covered my mouth and made me face a dumbfounded Harley and a deadpanning guard.

"This is what I want you to do," he told the two, "you, guard, are going to let me out of this hell-hole, or you are going to let all of your friends at GPD know that I've got a child hostage-"

"Mmmfmfmf!" I said. Well, what I meant to say was, "I AM NOT A CHILD! I'M ALMOST 13!"

"-and that I will aim to kill if my demands aren't met. So I would get started."

Harley looked like she might faint on the spot. "But she's a kid."

I rolled my eyes and growled again. I most certainly was _not_ a kid. Can't these people get their facts straight? I glared at Scarecrow and pushed away his hand so I could be heard.

"I am not going to be part of some stupid plan that will fail. Okay? I just need to get my Pomeranian, and I'll be gone. Heck, I'll help you escape. No need to take me hostage. And I AM NOT a kid. Clear?"

Both Harley and Scarecrow stared at me.

"Okay," they agreed.

"But what about Mistah J?" Harley asked.

"Go get him," I said. "What about him?"

I pointed at the guard.

"I'll handle him," Harley smiled, taking some duct-tape out of her pockets.

With that, I entered Scarecrow's cell.

"Oh Furby," I called, "come out come out!"

A creamy fur ball rolled up to me happily. I picked up the furry nuisance and turned to Scarecrow.

"Okay, NOW we can go."

I took his hand and followed Harley towards the cafeteria.

::::::

So pretty much, Harley had told the guards that Scarecrow and Joker were both to be transferred. Then we caused a distraction, which involved peanut butter (don't ask), and there was soon a huge prison break. Or asylum break. I don't know.

We had stolen a van from the parking lot, and in it was Harley, who was driving, Joker, who was in the passenger side seat, Scarecrow, who was sitting in the back with The Riddler, Two-Face, and me. Now that they had escaped, the question was: What were they going to do with _me_?

"Wow Harl, you sure know how to make an exit!" Joker exclaimed, laughing hysterically.

"I know. But nothin compared to you, Puddin." she said, looking at him happily.

"Would you cut the lovey dovey crap and keep your eyes on the road?" Two-Face yelled.

"I agree with Harvey," Scarecrow said. "Please keep your eyes on the road Miss Quinzel."

I sat beside Riddler, and we didn't comment.

After a heated debate involving Star Trek and truffles, I finally got a bit of attention.

"So where do you live kid?" Harley asked me.

All of the rouges turned to look at me.

"Uh... I'm not from around here..."

"Well that explains a lot," Scarecrow mumbled.

"Actually... um... I'm..." Should I tell them about the remote? "a tourist." Even the criminally insane wouldn't believe that.

"Huh," Harley said. "Hope your folks don't mind us stealin' you for awhile."

I sighed. "They won't."

"What's your name anyway?" Harley asked. "You still haven't told me. And your puppy's name."

"Well my name is Brandy," I said, "And this is Jinina the 3rd Furbyest. But I call her Furby."

Joker laughed. Again.

"So... yeah," I stated.

"You have a pretty country accent," Harley remarked. "So you aren't from the North. Huh. I'm guessing... North Carolina?"

"Nope. But close."

"South Carolina," Scarecrow guessed.

"Mhm."

"Yay! I just love games!" Harley giggled.

"Nice to meet all of you." I smiled. "And I woke up this morning without a clue that this might happen. Funny how it works out." I looked through the dash window. "Hey... where are we going anyway?"

"Somewhere Bats can't find us and spoil the fun," Joker said. "I mean, we just got out."

"So you guys don't really mind if I stay with you for awhile...?"

"I don't," Harley said. "Boys?"

"Nah," Joker smiled. "I like kids."

"Not at all," Riddler said.

"Not really," Two-Face mumbled.

"As long as you don't mess with my things." Scarecrow replied.

I grew thoughtful. "My science teacher always thought I was pretty good with experiments..."

"But not with life-threatening chemicals," Scarecrow corrected.

"Fine," I said, taking out my I-pod.

::::::::::::  
Once we arrived at the hideout, I learned which rooms were occupied and took my pick, which wasn't very big, but nice. Harley announced that she was going to rent a movie, which I helped her pick out on our outing to Blockbuster. I picked a few, for everyone's separate taste, which included Twilight for Harley, Sweeney Todd for myself, and a few that the rouges had requested we get. I came back in the old house with an armful of movies.

We watched Twilight that night, which Harley cried through, Joker laughed, Scarecrow and Two-Face went to bed early and Riddler just... watched.

The next morning was gonna be a killer.

**Oh boy. Staying with villans. Reviews are greatly appreciated, and please let me know what you thought of this chapter! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Haha, these things are fun. I think that if I owned any Batman characters, they'd ALL be in Arkham. Because I kill with kindness :) So don't EVER mention the disclaimer. Period.

**A/N: **Thank you to Mad as a Scarecrow and Luna of the Night Eclipse for reviewing and to ehs06702 (Author Alert).

**Chapter 3: **Killer Morning / Quality Time

I was sleeping soundly on my bed in the 'guest room' when my alarm woke me up. "Freakin' alarm... I wanna find out if I got the cookie..." I groaned, rolling to the left. And off the bed I went, taking the purple sheets with me.

"Dangit!" I yelped. I'd set my alarm early to try to make breakfast, so I searched the pockets of my clothes and shut it off. Harley had given me one of her more decent nighties, since I didn't have any of my own. I yawned and made sure that there weren't any traps outside my door, you never knew when you're an an abandoned house full of supervillans.

I smiled and opened the blinds, letting early morning rays flow through them. This place needed a bit of cheering up. I figured that it wasn't used a lot.

I turned on the radio, and picked up Your Betrayal by Bullet For My Valentine. I then began to make waffles, pancakes, bacon and eggs.

"I was told to stay away. Those are words I can't obey. Pay the price for you betrayal, your betrayal, _your betrayal! _Is it my turn to die? My heart is pounding as I say goodbye! And now I dance in the flames-"

"Very interesting question," someone said. "Your turn to die?"

I whirled around to find the Riddler sitting at the counter, with a green nightcap on and his own odd pajamas.

"Oh, it's only you," I said. "That spoils it. I was hoping to have breakfast done before everyone woke up."

"Who couldn't wake up to the smell of that good cooking?" he asked good-naturedly. "And you have a expressive singing voice."

"Thank you. But the bacon is a bit burnt."

"What is that good smell, Puddin?" I heard Harley Quinn ask Joker. She bounded out of their room, red robe on and pigtails up messily. "Good morning, Riddles, Brandy," she yawned.

"Good morning," I said.

"Good morning," Riddler laughed. It must have been the silly grin plastered on her face. Or possibly the blonde pigtails that she was so proud of. Either way, she looked very... funny.

"Breakfast," yawned Joker. He was a silly sight himself, dressed in pinstriped green and purple boxers.

I frowned. My suprise was sure to be ruined now. I pulled out a plate for each early riser and put a few eggs, a waffle, a pancake and a bit of bacon on them. Then I made one for myself.

"Here's dinner. I mean breakfast. Sorry..."

"That's quite alright," Riddler assured me. "We're all tired after what happened last night."

Joker nodded, mouth full of eggs and bacon. All of our laughter awoke Scarecrow and Two-Face, who walked into the kitchen yawning. Furby was yipping at their feet.

"This abomination has been laying in my room all night." Scarecrow sighed, pointing at the fuzzy yellow puppy. In response, Furby rolled onto her belly and gave him a doggy grin.

I rolled my eyes and picked her up, glaring and trying to resist the cuteness.

"Bad dog," I said firmly. She whined and wiggled, then ate a piece of my bacon.

I sighed, shook my head and opened the window. Seeing it wasn't a very far drop, I let go of her and watched her descend onto the grassy lawn. The Furby yipped once and scampered off to do her business.

"Thank Glob," I yawned. Then I sat at the table and began to groggily munch down my food. Most of the Arkhamites followed my example, and ate their breakfast.

"So what're we gonna do today?" asked Harley.

"I don't know. What do you think, Numero Dos?" asked Joker.

Two-Face frowned. I think. See, the problem with him is that you can't read his expressions very well.

"Let's go blow up a bank," he said. "I'm tired of watching Harley's sappy movies. And we need to get the sports channel! Come on Joker, Lifetime?"

I stifled a giggle. He was probably serious.

"You know what? Harv is right! But instead of getting the sports channel, we might as well get Comedy Central and GSN."

Ther look of utter horror on Scarecrow's face was enough to send me into a tirade of giggles. I still hadn't grown used to the cartoon features of my villanous companions, and this version of some of my favorite Saturday morning super villans was just hilarious. Not to mention all of the stress I had to release, during those peals of laughter I thought about how frantic my dad must be in his search for me. For some reason this increased my pitch of laughter until I was holding my throat, silently laughing and out of air.

I began to clutch at my throat. I couldn't breathe at all.

"Oh no, Mistah J," Harley said. "She must've breathed in those Laughing Gas fumes on your shirt."

My eyes were bugging out of my head (more than usual).

"Let's see here," Joker muttered. He headed to his room at an infuriatingly leisurely pace.

"Hurry up Joker, she's about to suffocate!" Scarecrow urged.

"Hold on, hold on, Scary. We have all the time in the world." Joker emerged from his room with a needle just as I began to black out.

Now let me tell you something: I don't like needles. When I was five and had to get my flu shot, my doctor put me in a rolling desk chair. I was happy, content as a puppy dog. But when he came out with that big-ass needle, I rolled my way right out that office door. True story. Really. My mom was there, she'll tell you the whole thing. It took two doctors to hold me down.

I was choking, but not going down without a fight. I squirmed away from that needle, but in the end, three very strong men won out against me (like I stood a chance) and I got the needle right in the arm.

That itself was enough to make me pass out.

When I woke up, Harley's painted up face gazed at me, full of motherly concern. She smiled widely at my fluttering lashes and wiped my forehead with a wet washcloth. "You kay, Brandy?" she asked kindly.

I blinked a couple of times and smiled at her. "Couldn't be better, Miss Quinn. But that needle did sting. Don't you have the antidote in liquid form?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Couldn't get it down your throat if you had been poisoned."

"Good point."

Harley grinned. "Guys!" she called, "Brandy's awake!"

"About time," a familiar refined voice said. Scarecrow (maybe I should call him Jonathan?) came around the corner of the door, that look on his face. You see, it looks like he just swallowed a Sour Patch Kid. Not totally mean, and kind of comforting. I guess it's a doctor thing.

"Hi," I coughed.

"Hello to you too... erm..."

"Brandy," I smiled.

"Yes. Well, a young girl like yourself is going to be out of bed in no time. Children heal much more quickly than adults."  
"I'm not a child," I mumbled. Then my eyes widened. "You mean it's still daytime?" I asked.

"Yes," Harley nodded.

I threw off my sheets. "Time for... SIGHTSEEING! I'm not leaving Gotham without sights to remember it by!"

"Absolutely not!" Jonathan said. "We can't risk this."

"But she won't tell Jonny," Harley pouted. "Right Brandy?"

I nodded.

"See? Now change into this, and I'll bring my camera!"

Jonathan couldn'tve stopped us if he tried. In a flash, I was wearing a red dress and my sandals and we were outtta that house! Harley jumped in a green car and off we were, out of the countryside and into the city.

**Laughing gas attack! I lived though. So it's all good. If you have the time, click that little button at the end of this page and review. I love to read them, short or long, good or bad. Thankies for reading! Oh! And will I get into trouble in Gotham?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: (to the tune of Elmo's World) Lala la la, lala la la, I don't own Batman! Lalalala!**

**Chapter 5: **Shopping with Harley / It's Your Birthday Tomorrow WHA?

We had made it into the city limits. I rolled down the window and stared wide–eyed at all of the places I seen every Saturday. Wayne Tower was in the middle of the city. We rode past Gotham General, the bank, and GPD before we came to the park. Harley wasn't dressed in her uniform, but she was probably going to still wreak havoc. We both grabbed an ice cream and sat down on a bench.

"So this is what Gotham's like... wow."

"Yes, this is tha nicer part of it though," Harley said. "The Narrows aren't a place a little girl'd wanna be."

I smiled. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else for my birthday."

"And I thought I was nuts. What about it?" she asked curiously.

"It's tomorrow."

"It'syourbirthdaytomorrow WHA?"

I shrugged. "It's not important..."

"That is a lie if I've ever seen one. Now we're going shopping!"

Before I could say holy cheese and crackers, we were hitting the streets.

First, she took me to a dress store. The first dress I tried on was fugly, the second was semi-ok, and the third was beautiful.

"That looks perfect on you," she smiled. It was a purple and black striped dress that came just past my knees, with long sleeves, an off the shoulder top and two black straps to hide my bra-straps.

I grinned, spinning around.

We bought it and headed to the bakery.

My cake would be a chocolate triple-decker with purple frosting and a black border. Thirteen black candles wound around it, and it declared, Happy 13th Brandy!

Then we went to the party store and bought tons of black and purple balloons.

When we were done, everyone was surprised when we came back with two bags.

Joker laughed. "Did you restrain Harley from shopping too much?"

"No!" Harley said, "Her birthday's tomorrow!"

Everyone looked to me for confirmation. "Yes," I said.

"I don't know what to get!" Riddler said anxiously.

"Don't worry about it," I said, "I'm not used to much anyway."

"Why?" asked Jonathan.

"Look, let's just say I'm not exactly rich, and... well my dad didn't even take a break from work to see me open presents when I turned twelve."

"Same here," Joker laughed. "Only my dad was drunk."

"So," I said, "I wouldn't feel comfortable if you got me something cause you felt like you had to. Unless you want to, I don't-"

"I DO!" Harley smiled. "Come on, Brandy! Let us give you a happy birthday!"

"Fine, fine."

I stayed in my room the rest of the day as they all tried to work on something. Furby was her annoying self. I took a nap, but just like my mom- I had to be up doing something to feel normal.

I quietly snuck into the kitchen. It didn't seem like anyone was here at the moment. So I happily made myself a peanut butter jelly sandwich and turned on the TV.

"And in other news, the Riddler has robbed Gotham Museum, stealing this emerald..."

I gawked at the picture of the gem. It was huge! I didn't even like jewelry that much.

I flipped and found some stupid kid's show about brushing your teeth.

This was a great day.

**Love me? Hate me? What do you think the rouges should get me? And how do you think the party should be? Let me know (best way is through reviews, hint hint). ALSO, do you think that this story is worth my time? I think it's fun to write, but maybe I should get more serious**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thankies for all of the lovely reviews!**

**Chapter Six: **Holy Batman and Robin/So What I Conspired With Criminals?

Since I was really bored, after watching numerous T.V. shows, I found a coat and went outside.

It was pretty cold in Gotham at night. That may have been because the hideout was located in the country, too.

Well, I'd always liked the country. You could always hear the crickets chirping and there was so much fresh air… but I hated the dang mosquitoes.

Most of the rouges were still gone. I figured they'd probably gone to the Iceberg Lounge or something to hang out. Or plot. I could just imagine all of them, rubbing their tiny cartoon hands together and little red horns on their heads. I burst out laughing.

Of course, this time, I could stop. My giggles slowly dissipated and I looked up at the starry Gotham sky.

I tried to identify the Gemini constellation, my sign, but had little success. I wasn't ever good at things like that.

I thought about how worried my father was. And my mother. Their sad faces drifted through my mind, and I wished that they were with me. It didn't mean I wanted to go back, though.

Furby circled my feet, doing crazy stunts and jumping high in the air. I smiled at her and let myself drop into the high grass. She jumped onto my stomach and being annoyed, I pushed her off.

"When will you learn, girl?" I asked the unfazed Furby.

She ignored me, and acting like a human ditz, ran off to chase her shadows. She barked at the various insects in the grass and was happy in her own little world.

I rolled my eyes and sat up, looking towards the road. Just a strip of brown dirt, empty… wait… what was that thing rocketing my way?

"AHHH!" I shrieked as I did a stumble-flip towards the house. Talk about road rage!

As I looked on circumspectly from the porch, I identified the vehicle as the Batmobile. It really was like the real thing – black armor and blue flames dying out from the rocket-booster.

"Wow," I mouthed in awe. I was looking at the freaking Batmobile.

A motorbike pulled up alongside the awesome Batmobile. I took it to be Robin's mode of transportation.

They must have busted the hideout. I couldn't believe that the villains left me here for them to discover! Well, they were villains…

I bit my lip as Robin jumped off the motorbike and Batman climbed out of his vehicle. They both scanned the two-story plantation-style house, looking right through me. I felt a spark of indignation. Everyone did that. It was really starting to irk me.

Batman's narrow eyes finally stopped on my nervous form. If he was surprised, he hid it well. Robin had a bit more trouble not looking totally confused.

"Well… um… hey there." I said lamely. Batman had this angry look on his face. Like a guy who didn't smile much. Sometimes I wondered if his face was frozen like that.

"You are in a lot of trouble," Robin told me. I smiled awkwardly and chewed a strand of my auburn hair.

"I kinda guessed that…" I said in a tiny voice.

Batman glared coldly at me and the said in his deep, dark, demon voice, "Are you the young woman who aided in the escape of Arkham's patients?"

"Heh heh… that would be me," I said innocently.

"Are you willing to cooperate with us to help locate the criminals and have them returned to Arkham?"

I frowned and crossed my arms. "No way! I won't!"

Batman didn't seem to like my answer very much. Robin narrowed his eyes at me and looked ready to yell at me.

"But I won't fight you guys either."

At this, I held out my hands and smirked at them, ready to be handcuffed. Or Bat-cuffed. Whatever, I was challenging the Dynamic Duo.

"So, will you hurt an innocent citizen?" I asked, smug look on my face.

Robin frowned. Batman Bat-cuffed me. Furby came running out of the dense undergrowth, tongue lolling out. I laughed at her. She began gnawing at Robin's boot.

He gave a questioning look to Batman, who didn't even acknowledge Furby. What was wrong with this guy?

Batman and Robin searched the house, finding no more than a few capsules of Joker Toxin, Fear Gas, and other stupid things. I didn't tell them about the hidden stash of chocolate chip cookies, though.

Batman still thought there was something that he'd overlooked, so he ordered Robin to take me back to the Batcave. I wasn't elated at the idea. Neither was he.

"You mean I have to carry this kid all the way back there?" Robin yelped unhappily. "No way!"

Twenty Minutes Later…

"I'm not too thrilled about this, buddy," I said as I squinted against the wind whipping against my face. My handcuffed hands were wrapped around Robin's neck, giving me limited comfort on the motorbike.

"Shut up, no backseat drivers," he said, increasing speed. I shivered, the bike felt like it would tip over at any second.

"Well if you could _drive,_ I wouldn't have to!" I snapped.

I swear I could hear him roll his eyes over the roar of the wind.

We sped down the back-alleys of Gotham, and then I noticed a… horse in the rearview mirror?

"Hey, what's that?" I asked.

"What's what?"

"What's what what?" I queried.

"OH no…" he said. I looked at the mirror again. Attached to the horse was a carriage, and who were the drivers, but the Scarecrow and Jervis Tetch, or the Mad Hatter.

"Yaaay!" I cheered. Robin jerked the bike into a faster gear, making me jerk forward and hit my head on his back uncomfortably.

"OWCH! THAT HURT!" I screamed at the maniacal sidekick.

He ignored me. The two criminals were gaining on us.

"SAVE ME FROM THIS PSYCHOPATH! I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVERS!" I screeched to the two behind me. Robin flinched at my voice.

We hit a dead end.

"Damn!" he cursed. I tried to loosen the batcuffs. Suddenly, we found ourselves cornered by the villains.

"Well what have we here, a little bird out to play," Jervis mocked. Scarecrow chuckled.

Robin tried to use his batarang (for lack of better word) on the rouge, but he deflected it easily.

"Go bad dudes!" I cheered quietly.

Robin frowned. "Do you _want _to die?"

"Hand over the girl and nobody will get hurt," Jervis tried to reason.

"No!" the headstrong Robin yelled. I sighed.

"Oh just do it."

"You want to join villains? Be my guest."

"I never said I was _joining_ them, per say-"

"But you want to go with them."

"Yeah. They're cooler."

Robin turned back to the situation at hand.

"I'd be happy to get rid of her, but I can't."

"We have something in common!" I said happily.

Jervis made a gesture to me to cover my nose and mouth, and a sucked in a breath.

"Huh?" Robin asked. Then a green vapor enveloped us. Robin began screaming and blabbing incessantly.

I was pulled out of the mist by rescuers. I smiled at the two and undid my batcuffs.

"Thankie kindly!"

Jervis pulled a 10/6 card out of his hat and put it on Robin's head. He froze.

"Go back to the schoolyard, Robin chap," Jervis laughed. Robin headed towards the nearest school.

I giggled. "Wow."

**A/N: Long chapter! Hope you enjoyed! Please leave me a review. Heck, a smiley face :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you for reviewing! **

**Chapter Seven: **A Real Ditz/The Hatter's Family

After Robin left for the school, I turned to the two rouges before me. I was curious. Very, very curious.

I cleared my throat to announce my presence, however small it might be. I don't have a very powerful aura, I'm sort of the kind of person you look through.

"Excuse me, Dr. Crane? Mr. Tetch?" I said clearly to the two men laughing at Robin's predicament like bullies over a child's defeat. Jonathan snapped up straight and resumed his formal mannerisms. He looked embarrassed about letting me see him laugh. Jervis looked up, still cheerful. They were polar opposites, but also best friends. It baffled me.

"Yes, Miss O'Brien?" Jonathan asked.

I shuffled and tucked my frizzy windswept hair behind my ears. "Why… why'd you come back for me? I mean, you could have let the Dummy Duo turn me in to the police…" I stuttered as I said this. I was honestly confused.

Jervis smiled good-naturedly. "She really is a 'ditz' as you put it, eh, Jonathan?"

I glared at the former psychologist. "Oh, really? Is that what he said?" Jonathan gave Jervis a pleading look.

"Why, yes it is."

Jervis was oblivious to the death-glare I was sending the Master of Fear's way and instead hopped into his carriage. I observed the man. He was rather short, with messy blonde hair tucked under a huge purple top hat that had a 10/16 card tucked in the green embellishment. However short he was, I was still shorter. He had a round face and peculiar overbite, and wore a purple overcoat and a green vest. I mentally noted his fashion sense, but my mind was a bit too fried.

Jonathan – or the Scarecrow – on the other hand, was extremely tall. He towered over Jervis and me. He had freakishly long limbs and a long torso. This was made even more prominent by his lack of weight. He reminded me of the stick figures my mother attempted to draw. Jonathan had light brown hair that was fast turning straw-colored, and bright blue eyes. I noted this because he'd removed his mask and hat. He was pale in an unhealthy way, and his face was sharp and angular, cheeks gaunt and dark circles under the eyes. His costume was mere burlap and rags.

He really looked like he could use a hug.

"Don't just stand there!" Jervis told us. "We must hurry! The White Rabbit and Miss Alice are waiting!"

I was curious who these people were, but didn't say anything. I instead approached the carriage and nervously stood beside it.

"Please help the lady, Jonathan chap," Jervis said kindly.

Jonathan rolled his eyes and got into the passengers' seat, lifting me up with those stick arms. I was amazed. Let's just say that I eat a lot.

"So you are the champion that saved Jonathan from that dreadful prison, aren't you?" Jervis asked me as he began to drive. I was squeezed in between the two, Jervis on my left, Jonathan on my right.

"I guess you could say that…" I said, nails digging into the leather seat because of the man's crazy driving. He weaved all over the street. I was afraid to be flung out of the place I sat.

"Marvelous!" Jervis exclaimed, almost losing his grip on the reins. Jonathan seemed used to the constant jolts, hanging on almost expertly.

We passed through many back-alleys, as not to be seen by the police. We even cut through a dog-park. After awhile, my tensed muscles began to hurt from hanging onto the carriage so tightly, and I relaxed in my spot. It was pretty neat, riding in a carriage with two wanted criminals.

I couldn't believe a couple of things though. As I looked at the passing cartoon scenery, I saw a few stores from my world. Like Walmart.

"There's a Walmart here?" I asked as we passed the huge supermarket.

Jervis grinned. "Why, of course!"

"Huh," I thought. "I bet you don't have too many of them. Back where I come from, we have, like, four Walmarts per town."

Jonathan looked at me with the Sour Patch Kid look again. "We have plenty more than that."

I frowned. "Well, they're small towns!"

It's true. In my state, most of the towns I've been to are tiny compared to a place like Gotham.

I sat there, very bored, for most of the ride. Then I (again) took out my best friend, the iPod, and put on my headphones. Which are VERY loud, by the way.

It irritated Jonathan enough that I was listening to loud music, but my god-awful singing really pissed him off.

He twitched in annoyance and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Skellington Jack might catch you in the back and SCREAM like a banshee make you jump outta your SKIN this is Halloween, red n' black n' slimy green-"

"Miss O'Brien, DO shut up."

I closed my mouth and started humming instead.

Within a few minutes, we arrived at an abandoned amusement park. Jervis pulled up outside the gates and with a click of a button, they opened. We rode through them and went to a funhouse.

Jervis jumped out of the carriage and went towards the door. "After you, Miss," he said kindly. I smiled and went to open the door.

"Boss! Boss!" I heard. Turning around, I saw two young boys, one dressed in dark red and the other in dark blue, racing towards us. They looked exactly alike, with jet black hair that fell into their eyes. Jonathan sighed.

"Dee, Dum, were you slacking off again?" Jervis asked. The two shook their heads, averting their attention to me.

"Who's that?" Dee asked, reaching for his blade.

"Be nice to her. She set Jonathan free," Jervis scolded. Dee and Dum changed from suspicious to grinning like fools.

"Come along then, I must introduce you to Celia and Peter. If you're lucky, March and Chess may still be lurking about."

I followed Jervis, Dee, and Dum into the funhouse. After a few turns, and doors, we walked into a brightly colored room. The floors were checkered, and the walls were covered in tapestries. In the center was a long table. A young woman sat at the head of the table. She drank from a teacup, straw-colored hair pulled back by a bow. As we entered, she looked up with her large blue eyes. Her black-stained lips bore no expression. At her side was a young man, maybe 20. He wore bunny ears.

"Celia! Peter!" Jervis called. "Have you been here all this time? Where might Chess and March be?" He asked all these questions while his hands multitasked, making a cup of spiked tea and taking off his jacket. Jonathan took a seat at a random spot at the table.

'Celia' sipped her tea and answered, "I thought Chess might be lurking the park. March is still spying on the Bat."

"Good, good, frabjous," Jervis mumbled. Dee and Dum were still hanging on my arm, giggling and smiling. I nervously smiled back.

Out of the shadows came the figure of a teenaged punk boy. He wore cat ears. "Dee, Dum, what the hell are you doing?"

Dee smiled. "Hi, Chess! It's the_ laaaady."_

Dum beamed. "Boss said be _nice_ to the _laaaady."_

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "You've already managed to tame the blood twins, next will be the amusement park's stray."

"Shut up, Strawhead!" Chess growled. Jonathan smirked.

_Good grief, if I keep this company, I'll be dead by the end of the week, _I thought glumly.

**A/N: This chapter was long, but it just came to me. Yes, it took a while to write, but I really enjoyed it. I hope that you don't mind all of the OCs. They were inspired by Alice in the Country of Hearts and I couldn't pass them up. What will happen to Robin? Will I survive the Blood Twins hugging me too much? I'll spare you the wait for that one. Yes. Yes I can.**


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